A Pool Hall Is Coming To Mahoning Avenue

[Towntalk]

An' what about Granny and Grandpappy fritterin' away their Social Security money on Bingo at one of them fool bingo parlors on the West Side ... fritterin' away with a capitol F an' a capitol A. The shame of it all ... the next thing you know, Granny will hop on a bus an' gamble away the rent money at Mountaneer Park while poor ol' Grandpappy sits at home eating TV dinners. The utter shame of it all.

[iwasthere]

tt. i was swell and my ole man is sure in trouble due to the fact he came home late and coin jar was empty and he smelled like cheap whiskey and he dance with me mother while doing fancing jazz steps that spells trouble with a big T with P that caused me dad to start to go down the wrg path.

[jay]

The store you are talking about was not zoned for that location.
That same storefront is now home to a power equipment company which moved into the city from Austintown.

[Towntalk]

That's commendable, but in the past, the people of the west side got very upset when a business leased an empty storeroom, and the forth ward councilman sought to ban all of the stores of that nature saying that these stores drew in the riff-raff of society and would turn Mahoning Avenue into a Skidrow. How would a Pool Hall be any different than a second hand store?

[jay]

The storefront had been vacant for about one year.  We have several other vacant buildings on Mahoning Avenue and we have to keep working to see more of them filled.

[Towntalk]

 Well, either you're closing your eyes
To a situation you do not wish to acknowledge
Or you are not aware of the caliber of disaster indicated
By the presence of a pool table in your community.
Well, ya got trouble, my friend, right here,
I say, trouble right here on th West Side.
Why sure I'm a billiard player,
Certainly mighty proud I say
I'm always mighty proud to say it.
I consider that the hours I spend
With a cue in my hand are golden.
Help you cultivate horse sense
And a cool head and a keen eye.
Did ya ever take and try to give
An iron-clad leave to yourself
From a three-rail billiard shot?
But just as I say,
It takes judgement, brains, and maturity to score
In a baulk line game,
I say that any boob kin take
And shove a ball in a pocket.
And they call that sloth.
The first big step on the road
To the depths of deg-ra-Day--
I say, first, medicinal wine from a teaspoon,
Then beer from a bottle.
An' the next thing ya know,
Your son is playin' for money
In a pinch-back suit.
And list'nin to some big out-a-town Jasper
Hearin' him tell about horse-race gamblin'.
Not a wholesome trottin' race, no!
But a race where they set down right on the horse!
Like to see some stuck-up jockey'boy
Sittin' on Dan Patch? Make your blood boil?
Well, I should say.
Friends, let me tell you what I mean.
You got one, two, three, four, five, six pockets in a table.
Pockets that mark the diff'rence
Between a gentlemen and a bum,
With a capital "B,"
And that rhymes with "P" and that stands for pool!
And all week long your West Side
Youth'll be frittern away,
I say your young men'll be frittern!
Frittern away their noontime, suppertime, choretime too!
Get the ball in the pocket,
Never mind gittin' Dandelions pulled
Or the screen door patched or the beefsteak pounded.
Never mind pumpin' any water
'Til your parents are caught with the Cistern empty
On a Saturday night and that's trouble,
Oh, yes we got lots and lots a' trouble.
I'm thinkin' of the kids in the knickerbockers,
Shirt-tail young ones, peekin' in the pool
Hall window after school, ya got trouble, folks!
Right here on the West Side.
Trouble with a capital "T"
And that rhymes with "P" and that stands for pool!
Now, I know all you folks are the right kinda parents.
I'm gonna be perfectly frank.
Would ya like to know what kinda conversation goes
On while they're loafin' around that Hall?
They're tryin' out Bevo, tryin' out cubebs,
Tryin' out Tailor Mades like Cigarette Fiends!
And braggin' all about
How they're gonna cover up a tell-tale breath with Sen-Sen.
One fine night, they leave the pool hall,
Headin' for the dance at the Arm'ry!
Libertine men and Scarlet women!
And Rag-time, shameless music
That'll grab your son and your daughter
With the arms of a jungle animal instinct!
Mass-steria!
Friends, the idle brain is the devil's playground   
Mothers of the West Side!
Heed that warning before it's too late!
Watch for the tell-tale sign of corruption!
The minute your son leaves the house,
Does he rebuckle his knickerbockers below the knee?
Is there a nicotine stain on his index finger?
A dime novel hidden in the corn crib?
Is he starting to memorize jokes from Capt.
Billy's Whiz Bang?
Are certain words creeping into his conversation?
Words like, like 'swell?"
And 'so's your old man?"
Well, if so my friends,
Ya got trouble,
Right here on the West Side!
With a capital "T"
And that rhymes with "P"
And that stands for Pool.
We've surely got trouble!
Right here on the West Side!
Remember the Maine, Plymouth Rock and the Golden Rule!
Oh, we've got trouble.
We're in terrible, terrible trouble.
That game with the fifteen numbered balls is a devil's tool!
Oh yes we got trouble, trouble, trouble!
With a "T"! Gotta rhyme it with "P"!
And that stands for Pool!!!

[AllanY2525]

as long as the proprietor of this billiard parlor runs the place in a respectable fashion,
I would not have a problem with it being in the neighborhood.

[Towntalk]

What I'd like to know is what's the big deal about a pool parlor opening on the west side? Are the west siders so desperate for things to boom the west side over the other sides of town that they have to see a pool parlor as a sure sign of their superiority over everyone else.
How many jobs will be produced by this pool parlor? How much will it benefit the westside economically? How will it benefit the folks that don't shoot pool? Will there be age restrictions on who may and may not enter this pool parlor to play?
How do the west side churches feel about a pool parlor on the west side? Does anyone seriously think that the west side churches will have special parties for their congregations as they do at bowling alleys? Will Chaney High have special nights for their students at this pool parlor?  Maby even build a team of pool players?

[Why?Town]

I know the guy that owns the auto repair shop beside the unique biker building although I haven't seen him in a couple of years. His brother ran a pool hall in the back or possibly in the basement of the mahoning plaza. My guess is that he's just moving his existing business to the unique biker location.

Just a guess.

[iwasthere]

And Professor Harold Hill won't be far behind.

and seventy-six trombones will lead the way for the patrons to start dropping coins in the tables while using words like swell, you are a cat's meow that will make a sailor's blush.

[Billy Mumphrey]

And Professor Harold Hill won't be far behind.

[Towntalk]

What's a pool hall? What kind of pools will they sell?

[jay]

Watch for a pool hall to open on Mahoning Avenue in the next few weeks.  It will be at the same location  as the former Unique Biker store.