VERY FUNNY Political Post-Youngstowns City Council

[Frank Bellamy, MAP Masters of Applied Politics]

City Council Business Presentation
Posted by: Local Historian (---.zoominternet.net)
Date: October 17, 2006 07:19AM


Youngstown City Council, desperate for new business to locate in the city, opened up their meeting last week to entrepenuers looking for start up city funding. Artis Gillam, 1st ward councilman, presided over the meeting in the absence of Charles Sammarone. Yours truly was there.

Gillam: Thanks for attending. In the absence of Mister Sammaroon I'll be running this meeting. And unlike that Rocky Balboa talking Sammaroon, I runa tight ship. No Maggie Lorenzi comments, no criticism of us public officials. No questions about my cell phone use or travel budget. Nothin. I"ll have this nice po-leesmin escort you out. I would first like to welcome Jim Fortune former esteemed colleague of mine to clarify the presentation about the grocery distribution center. Mr. Fortune.

Fortune: Uh, uh thanks Mister Gillam. Some of you wanted to know more details abot this proposed project. You see like this my son has no money and his friend has a grocery store in Virginia or Maryland or somewhere over there. And we need about $2,000,000 to build a grocery distribution center here.

Rufus Hudson: Jim do you have any stores in the area who have agreed to use this distributuion center as opposed to other available facilities?

Fortune: We don't really have any stores around here to distribute to but that is a minor detail.

Mike Rapvoy: Jim, how many jobs will this create?

Fortune: I don't know. At least 2, maybe 3.

Gillam: Thanks Jim for clarifying that. Next presenter is Mike McNair.

McNair: As all you know the Youngstown School Board has squandered more money than any school system in the history of the state and has the worst results to show for it as far as student performance is concerned. But that is going to change. We are very optimistic because we are again asking for a levy and since most of the brothers vote for every levy figuring they don't pay for the tax it will pass. With that additional money we are proposing to start a black media center at the new East High. And I am looking for about $5,000,000 for the project from the city.

Mark Memmer: What will this media center consist of?

McNair: Well we are going to build, you know, a radio station for the new Brother K show. And then we will build a new wing for the Buckeye Review so we cover print media. I will receive a small consulting fee for helping, you know, the students learn about the newspaper business.

William Flickinger: What the hell do you and that felon Clarence Boles know about running a newspaper? Christ, I can spell better then you nitwits.

Gillam: OUT OF ORDER! Remove that man from the premises.

Flickinger: You come and try you little weasal. I'll kick your @#$%& up and down the east side.

Gillam: Mister Po-leesmin. Please remove Mister Flickanjur. Sorry, continue.
Mister Atkinson, you have a question?

Atkinson: Yeas. Mike what will be your small fee.

McNair: I say about $75,000. BUt that ain't etched in stone, you know. I could live with $70,000 if you think that's too much.

Gillam: Sounds like a fine program for the children. The last project we will consider tonight is from Mr. Joe Teague.

Teague: I would like to form a company to clean up the neighborhoods. I figure I could use about $50,000 to fix up my house and then spread out from there.

Pancoe: Mr. Teague how will this create jobs?

Teague: You white people ask the same dumb @#$%& questions. If I was Mr. Anthony you just give me the money and not ask questions. Shoot. I'm getting back on my mule and heading back to Alabama.

Gillam: Well this is a great start. I say we disband with any readings on this ideas and just give them the money. Who says we can't bring business to Youngstown? Thank you for your attention and good night.